10 Essential Practices for a Happy and Successful Life

Let’s be clear that there is no one formula, cut in stone, that guarantees a happy and successful life to each individual. Each person lives their life according to what they feel is important, and this is as it should be.

However, in this post, I will share with you the ten practices that have allowed to get to a place today where I can safely say that I’ve had a very happy and successful life by all standard measurements—and most importantly by my own. They are not ‘my practices’ in the sense that I have discovered something new, but rather they are the practices that have evolved in my life as I have endeavored to lead a fun, interesting and successful life.

This is your intimate look at the thought process of a man now in his seventies who has loved life and lived it fully. If through this process you find ideas to adopt in your own life and they resonate as true and valuable, then so much the better.

1. Have a multidimensional, holistic view of your life

In my early twenties, a close friend of mine and I invented a card game called the ‘Cosmic Life Game.’ I won’t go into the details of the game; suffice it to say that the process of playing the game forced the player to make decisions about what was important in their life. We played it with many friends and it was always quite revealing. Over a multi-year period we probably played it more than a hundred times. Through that process, five main themes revealed themselves as “important’ in life.

1.  Financial / career
2. Fun / adventure
3. Spiritual
4. Health
5. Relationships: Family, friends, spouse, children

The key in life is to not let any one theme totally dominate the others. Be vigilant in finding balance, and respect the need to nourish all five. I am not suggesting that each should get equal time. Earning a living and raising a family obviously does not allow for this, but we should still seek balance. Is there any one of the five that is being totally ignored? Is there any one that totally dominates? If all five are important, what does ignoring one or more do to you as an individual?

Too often we fall into routines and patterns where we find ourselves in unhealthy lifestyles without balance. It’s a good idea to take the time, several times a year, to look closely at our life choices. What do we need to do more of, less of? Always look for ways to nourish the parts of you that are being neglected. A balanced life that honours all five aspects will be much more fulfilling than one that is focused on just one or two, no matter how important they may seem.

2. Be creative with your life

Writer Somerset Maugham said, “It’s a funny thing about life, if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” It is one of my favourite quotes and I’ve lived my life by it. I can sincerely vouch for its authenticity. I would like to add a quote of my own, paraphrasing Maugham: “It’s a funny thing about life, but the more creative you are with it, the more fun and rewarding it becomes.”

Now by saying be creative I’m not suggesting you become a writer, poet, sculptor, painter, dancer, filmmaker or artist in some other art form, although you should if that’s what is in your heart. There is a great misconception held by many people that being creative means being artistic. While creativity is the cornerstone of all the arts, creativity is not limited to the arts. Far from it. Running a successful business requires creativity. Childrearing requires creativity. Developing and nurturing relationships requires creativity. So does living a happy and successful life. Here’s a bold and revolutionary thought: why not become an artist of life? Why not let your life be your ultimate creative act and devote yourself to it? What would happen in your life if you began to think of yourself as an artist, and your life as your art form? These are thoughts I had thirty-five years ago. What if your mantra became, as mine became: Be creative. Be bold. Try new things. Learn. Adapt. Move. Flow. Trust the process of creativity to lead you where you need to go.

Each morning I would think of myself as an artist of life, and my life as my art form. Each day became a different canvas to create with. Now I don’t want to give the illusion that each day was inspired and filled with creativity. Some days, weeks, months, I would have artist’s block and be stuck, but I would always eventually shift myself out of it by being creative. Today, after having lived this way for thirty-five years, this approach is no longer revolutionary, but as natural to me as breathing. It has served me well, as it will serve you well.

Here is my challenge to you: Change your perspective of yourself from being “ordinary” to being an “artist.” Change your perspective from your life being just something that happens, to it being a source of art and creativity by which you create and act. Let each day be a new, totally unique canvas, and the day after another canvas, and the day after that still another totally unique canvas to create with. Each unique. Each with incredible potential. Each fulfilling and complete in itself. Become inspired with the art of living life well.

No matter what your present circumstances or financial situation you can do it if you choose. No one can choose it for you. You and you alone must hear the call to awaken the artist within you and to act creatively in your life. Not once in a while. Not when the occasion arises, but regularly and consistently, daily because you are an artist and an artist always creates. If this idea can find fertile ground in your imagination, and you can take up my challenge, you will be stunned at how quickly your life will change for the better. As philosopher James Allen said, “A new life is but a new mind.”

3. Do what you love

This might sound somewhat metaphysical, but I believe with all my heart and soul that each of us is born with a talent, and a destiny that will unfold in the most miraculous way when we honour and use that talent. Some might call it “finding their calling” or “discovering their purpose in life.” I call it, “doing what you love to do.” Actually they are all the same thing. Your calling and destiny are hidden within the precious desires of your heart. What an ingenious place to put it. All that is required is for you to look within and discover what gives you the greatest joy.

A valuable question to assist you in this process is, “What would I do with my life if money were not an issue?” I’m not asking what would you buy for yourself, or what luxury trips you would take, but rather what would you “do” with your life. The key word is “do.” What practices or activities bring you the most pleasure? Do you know why they bring you such pleasure? This might surprise you, but they bring you pleasure because God/the Universe/the Great Mystery wants you to do them. Just as the act of procreation is made pleasurable so humans will reproduce themselves, so too with our own unique talents. They bring us pleasure because nature wants us to use them. When we use them we gift many. How simple and yet revolutionary: your purpose in life, your destiny, your reason for living, your ultimate happiness, all come from following and trusting what you love to do. Quite ingenious.

When I was in my mid-twenties I began to study and read everything I could on Mind Powers. I was totally fascinated with the subject. Eventually I left a very successful career in Toronto, sold my possessions, drove out west and ended up on Vancouver Island. There I built myself a cabin and spent three years perfecting a Mind Power system for the sheer love of doing it. I had no other motive than simply indulging myself in what had become my passion. There certainly was going to be no financial benefit in it, or so I thought. Little did I realize at the time that by following this path I would become a very successful writer of a number of best-selling books and travel the world teaching this system to millions. It was my destiny to do this, and I only discovered it by chance because I followed and trusted what gave me the greatest pleasure.

Not only is “Doing What You Love” a key to personal fulfilment, it is more often than not the key to financial success as well. I discovered this while writing my second book, Money Success & You. When I was on my final draft I decided to send each of my financially successful friends (those with assets over $1 million) a copy of the manuscript so I could get their feedback. As I finished my list and was reading over the names, I suddenly realized that every single one of them had achieved their success in areas they enjoyed working in – one was in publishing, another was a jewelry wholesaler, one in law, still another in home renovating – and so it went. They had found their passion, devoted themselves to it, and had prospered. Every single one of them was doing what they loved doing. It got me thinking. Has anybody ever been tremendously successful doing what he or she dislikes. Sure you can make a living doing what you don’t enjoy, and many people do, but can you be tremendously successful? I thought about it for a while and you know what? I couldn’t think of anyone that I either knew or had read about in newspapers who was tremendously successful at doing something they did not enjoy doing. Not one. Something to ponder as we make our life choices.

4. Be thankful each day for something

Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. I wish more people understood this. Not only would they be happier, but they would possess the key to so many riches, both internal and external. Gratitude is truly one of the most misunderstood and underestimated practices. In the hierarchy of vibrations, gratitude vibrates at a higher frequency than desire, so when you work with gratitude, it paradoxically acts as a catalyst to help you fulfill your desires. Conversely, if you just desire things without having gratitude, you are fighting an uphill battle. So gratitude works powerfully for us on all levels.

I want to quote from my book The Practice of Happiness (Notice the word “Practice” in the title. It is there for a reason.): “Every life has something to be grateful for. If we cannot find things to be thankful for, then the reason lies within us. How have we allowed ourselves to become so hardened or desperate? Our inability to find joy or happiness in our life doesn’t suggest in the slightest that joy and happiness are not there. Rather it suggests we are not looking carefully enough. It suggests that we’re not taking the time or that our perspective is too narrow and limited…”

We need to remind ourselves that many pleasurable moments exist each day in our life. Understanding this, we make a decision to start noticing them. We take a few seconds here, a moment there, to stop and appreciate the small joys and beauty in our lives. And far from this being a chore, we find ourselves refreshed and nourished by this simple practice.” The power of gratitude cannot be truly appreciated until you have practiced it regularly. The vibration of gratitude transforms lives. All change in our life begins from within, and when we make a conscious decision to be grateful for what we already have, even if what we have is very little, we set in motion vibrations that attract more to us.

I began practicing gratitude over thirty years ago, (sometimes it takes as little as a few seconds, other times a minute or two.) and I can say with complete honesty that I have never had a day where I wasn’t thankful for at least one thing at some point during the day. It has become a habit and practice and it nourishes me deeply. I can’t imagine a life without it.

5. Awaken your heart

Practice awakening your heart and you will be amazed at how much joy and love you will experience. Every day all of us have numerous opportunities to feel deeply our special relationship with others. The most amazing feeling of “oneness” happens when we open our hearts to what surrounds us and let it all in.

Our relationships with others can and should be a source of pleasure for us. And if what surrounds you doesn’t bring you joy and happiness, then it is time to take a close look at your life. What is it that keeps you from enjoying these contacts? Perhaps you need to break out of the enclosing walls of constant self-preoccupation. Perhaps you need to open the windows of the “self” and let in some fresh air.

Awaken your heart and you will awaken your life to a whole new set of possibilities. Not only should you awaken your heart, you should expand it to include many hearts. The awakening of the heart is a great blessing; suddenly you are so much more than just yourself.

“Breaking out of the prison of little self
I find myself flowing into everything.”
– A Vision of Power and Glory

How do we awaken our hearts? We begin by honoring heart wisdom, and realizing that the heart sees and knows in ways our mind will never understand. So rather than try to understand the heart, our approach is simply to allow ourselves to experience its truth and beauty. We let go of logical critical thinking for a moment and feel our way into whatever situation we find ourselves in. We let others’ pain and joy touch us deeply, and we’re not afraid of these feelings.

Trusting our feelings and acting upon them puts us in communication with the heart. Often it is instinctive. Someone slips, your arm reaches out. A car is in a ditch, you join the others and push. A colleague at work is depressed, you let him know you care. Already we are kind and loving in many ways, but this can deepen immeasurably. These are only the first few steps on the amazing path to the center of your heart.

When the heart awakens, the boundaries between self and others diminish. Each of us is linked to all others in more ways than we can imagine. We are all parts of the human tribe, and through love and appreciation of one another, we awaken this realization.

It might seem strange at first, for we are so accustomed to separating self and others, with self’s concerns being very important, and others’ concerns being allowed in only grudgingly, when time allows. This separation makes us feel safe and protected, we think, but we pay a high price for fostering this illusion. We arrive in the prison of little self, building a wall that separates us from the abundance of the universe.

Are you ready for this new adventure? The heart will lead the way. It is always trying to make its way known to us. It will be relieved to know that you are indeed listening. When we quiet the mind, we hear the heart more clearly. A little confidence in its wisdom, and a little courage to follow where it leads is all that is required. Your heart knows what will give you happiness. Even if your mind doesn’t always know, your heart knows, and this knowledge can only enrich and expand your life.

Unfortunately our lives are complex, overcrowded and full. Sometimes we feel we are too busy to let others in. There are always so many things we have to do for ourselves, and they all seem so important. But if we do not value and place importance on awakening our heart, helping others, getting to know others, if we do not see this as an vital and precious part of our own growth and development, what does that say about us? What path are we on if service, compassion and love are not part of our journey? Do we really think that making more money, watching another episode of a TV show, or going out to a fine restaurant will make us happier or more content? Actually, if we look at it closely, we will see that it is our constant self-preoccupation that is the true source of much of our unhappiness.

If we are to awaken our heart and learn its truths, we must also be brave enough to go where the heart leads us. We must learn to trust heart wisdom and not just mind wisdom. This is the way to a balanced life. We must trust and explore and move more fully and joyously and yes, sometimes recklessly into the realm of love and compassion.

And where will the heart lead us? To others. The heart longs to nurture others. To explore others. To experience and interact with others. To experience our oneness with others. This offers a clue to some of the truths and perceptions that the heart contains. While the mind may conceptualize, “We are all one,” as indeed it tries to do, it can never truly know this. But the heart knows this intimately, and by following the path of the awakened heart, we will know it intimately too. For this is the first and most important truth the heart teaches us. To know this not just as an intellectual concept, but as a reality that we experience each day is to be initiated into a great mystery. We are all one.

Open your heart daily to others. Listen, share and help wherever and whenever the opportunity arises. Your heart will surely awaken, and much joy and happiness will be yours, flowing to you in ways that could never happen by remaining preoccupied with yourself. By helping others, you help yourself. Knowing this will change your life forever.

6. Embrace change

Everything in life is in the process of becoming something else. There is no one constant source of happiness, success or pleasure. The only constant in life is constant change.

When you look closely at your life you will see that this is true. Our finances, health, opportunities, experiences, knowledge, desires, problems, challenges, insights and pleasures are constantly changing, morphing into something else. Life is the endless dance of something that is happening to us now, giving away to something new, which will in turn give way again to something else. Welcome change as a guest, even if this guest is a complete stranger. You never know what gifts, insights and treasures are awaiting you. To make yourself comfortable with change is to make yourself comfortable with life. When you embrace change as your friend, it will keep your life healthy and interesting. Change will take you where you want to go; it will refresh and delight you in innumerable ways when you learn to celebrate it.

As the Law of Constant Change manifests in our life and we watch it in operation, it reveals to us that there is no final arrival point. Or to be more exact, one arrives at one point only to immediately leave for another. There is no stability, only movement. Understanding this and living your life in a way that recognizes and honors this process is key to a fulfilling and happy life. You learn to enjoy the moments as they happen. Rather than wanting things to be different, which causes you unhappiness, learn to appreciate everything as it is happening to you, and let this appreciation nourish you. If you like something, then enjoy it fully now, while it is happening. If you don’t like something then let it be what it is without regret, for it too will change. Enjoy the process of life, with each moment being a part of that process. Life is to be appreciated moment by moment. There is no other way.

Some changes we initiate ourselves and this is good, for we are a creative power able to initiate change. Other changes happen without us understanding why or how. This too is good, for this is the nature and law of our life. The Law of Constant Change will always work to our advantage when we recognize it and use it as a tool to better understand and appreciate our life. Let go of all illusions and be one hundred percent with your life and what is happening to you today. Today is the source of your power, and of your happiness.

7. Have fun each day

If this sounds frivolous or unrealistic, believe me it’s not. Having fun daily is one of the most life-affirming practices we can ever adopt. It takes a real conscious effort to make time for fun in our busy lives, but if you’re looking for a successful AND happy life, you’ll see the wisdom of making the time. Sometimes it means breaking long-entrenched workaholic practices born of the foolish and erroneous belief that “the harder I work the more successful and productive I’ll be.” Perhaps in the short term, but over an extended period of time, all work and no play wear us down spiritually, emotionally and physically. Be diligent in honoring this practice and welcoming it into your life, and not only will you be happier but more effective too.

Let me quote from my book, The Practice of Happiness. Not only has this point been made very clearly in the chapter, “Fun, Joy and Nonsense,” but by quoting it here I can also introduce you to a little jewel of a book that is often overlooked by my Mind Power students. Enjoy reading this next segment:

I am facilitating a weekend retreat with thirty-five participants, and while the mood is generally upbeat, sometimes things can get serious and heavy. Like right now.

A woman has just finished sharing a very traumatic experience, and our hearts and minds are all with her. It has been talked out and there is nothing more to say. Everyone is silent and reflective.

I’ve been in this situation often enough to know that right now the very best remedy available is an ample dose of fun and nonsense. I saunter over to a box where various items are kept, pull out a court jester’s hat my wife has made for just such occasions, and put it on. The bells on each tri-corner ring softly as everyone in the group looks on in disbelief. I look ridiculous.

We are at a small resort town in New Zealand which overlooks the ocean. There is a lovely grassy field just outside, and I tell them that they are all now to follow me out to that area.

Once outside, I inform them that I am now the “Master of Nonsense,” and that we are going to play a game. “It begins with one person who is the amoeba. The amoeba then captures another person; they capture a third and then a fourth. Then…” I say in mock horror, eyes wide for emphasis, “once there are four amoebas, they split into two groups each, who each capture two more, and now there’re four groups of amoebas on the loose!” Boundaries are defined, one person is picked as the amoeba, and the game begins. Immediately the rest of the group moves in unison, like a school of fish, avoiding the oncoming amoeba. I’ve played this game countless times, and every time I enjoy it as much as I did the first time. Seeing grown adults squeal with excitement is just too much fun to miss. While it is quite easy to avoid one amoeba, it gets far trickier as they multiply. Some participants who seemed reluctant at first are now scurrying for their lives. One middle-aged woman in blue slacks is laughing hysterically as a group of amoebas gain on her. A man is climbing a tree trying to escape. I step back and take it all in. Thirty-five men and women playing like children. It is a wonderful sight. The game lasts less than ten minutes and at its conclusion everyone is laughing and clapping with appreciation. We return to the conference room with everyone feeling fresh and rejuvenated. I’ve never known fun to fail to work its magic. It seems to be a cure-all for every situation. It is life’s secret elixir.

When things are too serious in our life, we feel stressed or sluggish, we need to call upon our own inner “Master of Nonsense.” Maybe he or she will take us out for a walk, or have us put aside that important project that’s overdue and take in a double feature at the local movie house. There are hundreds of ways to break the tension and take the pressure off. Sometimes we just have to trust the reckless part of ourselves.

We need to renew our spirit regularly. A busy life necessitates it. We’ve become too full of activities. Too serious. Too adult. No wonder kids often think we’re dull and boring. In many ways that’s what we’ve become. We should get back to our roots and instincts. Bring in more balance. We need to have more fun, and to do so we have to be more creative and spontaneous; to seize the opportunities life presents us whenever and wherever we find them.

It was a somber ceremonial affair honoring the year’s Nobel laureates. Many dignitaries were in attendance including Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu (winner of the Nobel Peace Prize), the Dalai Lama and various others. The Dalai Lama was standing directly behind Bishop Tutu, who was sitting in a heavy wooden, straight-backed chair. At a particularly earnest moment of the proceedings, Bishop Tutu’s hat was abruptly pushed down over his eyes. The Bishop was startled, but didn’t have to look back to know who was responsible. The Dalai Lama was laughing. A little practical joke by the Dalai Lama gave a moment of levity to a highly serious affair. The press snapped pictures and the next day, in all the major newspapers, people everywhere saw a picture of Desmond Tutu, his broad smile visible below his crumpled hat, and behind him the Dalai Lama, laughing. The world was able to share in the joke.

That the Dalai Lama did this doesn’t surprise me in the least. My few times in his presence have convinced me he’s a jokester. I was once at a lunch with the business community of Toronto where the Dalai Lama was being honored. Representatives from various religious groups, business movers and shakers, and numerous local celebrities were in attendance.

The Dalai Lama sat at the head table, holding court, and throughout the meal he had everyone around him laughing. When it came time to speak, however, he spoke very eloquently and with emotion about the plight of the Tibetan people under Chinese rule. What impressed me most about the event was that, even with the obvious burden he felt in his heart for his people and homeland, the Dalai Lama could still so easily find time for joy and laughter.

The Dalai Lama has a lot to teach us in this regard. The seriousness of life’s problems does not have to eliminate our fun and joy. In life it’s necessary that we be, at different times, both serious and silly. Typically we’ve mastered the serious side very well. It’s time to explore the wisdom and pleasure of the silly. We often forget that within all spiritual teachings there is a very clear emphasis on the importance of being joyful. Fun, joy and happiness are spiritual principles.

Here children can teach us a lot. In the Bible we read that, “Unless ye become as little children ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” What does this mean? What is it about children that we are to imitate? Their trusting nature? Their innocence? The way they live life moment by moment? Certainly all these things, but what about children’s most natural instinct, that of having fun? Look closely and you will see fun and joy springing eternally from within them. Children point the way.

Spontaneity, creativity and the ability to let go and have fun are all lessons children can teach us. We would be wise to watch closely how well they master and perform these activities, how they can make fun out of almost anything. In these activities they are the teachers and we are the students. Take the lesson of spontaneity, for example. I don’t think that the Dalai Lama premeditated pushing Desmond Tutu’s hat; that he was waiting for just the right moment. It was undoubtedly a spontaneous impulse, mischievous and fun loving. And to his credit he didn’t feel the need to keep it in check; he simply allowed it to happen.

Having fun daily, even if it’s only for a few minutes is a life-affirming practice. It’s also a powerful symbol to our subconscious. It is saying I am worthy. Life is good. Even small amounts of fun every day can have a profound effect. We must be diligent in taking the time to nourish ourselves. If, no matter how busy we are, we still have the wisdom to take time for ourselves, we will be well compensated. Don’t be fooled by pressures and responsibilities; they will wait for you. We set the agenda for our life, and in our agenda there must always be time for fun.

Practice being spontaneous. Surprise yourself by being “childlike” sometimes. Let each day hold a gift or two for you. Practice bringing fun, joy and nonsense into your life each day. When you find yourself wondering should I, shouldn’t I – don’t hesitate–do it!

8. Have a daily self-help practice

I discovered something quite revolutionary a number of years ago, which I would like to reveal to you now. Devoting yourself daily to either a mental, physical or spiritual practice for as little as ten minutes a day will augment your whole being and produce amazing results. The body-mind-spirit package of who we are is holographic, and work on any one of these areas resonates and affects the others. I call it the “spill-over effect.”

Whether it is mind power, yoga, tai chi, mediation, prayer, massage, painting, sculpting, marital arts, relaxation exercises, going to the gym, journaling, or dozens of other possible practices, it is not so much which practice you choose to do that produces an effect, but the daily practice of it, whatever it is. And I emphasize daily. That is the key. Now obviously I am an ardent proponent of Mind Power, and if I had to pick only one this would be it, but luckily we don’t have to choose only one. We design our own practices in whichever way we choose, but I strongly suggest you pick something to do and do it daily.

Daily practice invites what a good friend of mine calls “answering graces.” In other words, good things happen on all levels in response. I discovered this when I first started practicing Mind Power. My daily Mind Power practice awakened my spirituality and also increased my health. And I’m not alone in discovering these benefits. Recent studies have also corroborated this phenomenon. Whatever transformative self-help practice you incorporate daily in your life will produce results in all other areas of your life. Not only this, but daily practice will quite often reveal and release extraordinary capacities that we have been totally unaware of until our daily practice revealed them to us.

9. Have a spiritual belief

This may be a religious or non-religious belief. Spirituality transcends religion. Religion may be the path you use to discover your spirituality, or it may not. I practice a hybrid of spiritual practices combining Christian mysticism, Zen Buddhism, Shamanism and Jewish Kabalistic teachings. This works for me and nurtures me deeply, but each of us is called to follow the spiritual path that resonates with us. A path with heart. There is no one path to God and the unseen worlds. In the spiritual world you are not judged by your religion or lack of it, but by your heart and your actions.

When I pray out loud in front of a group, which I sometimes do, I often begin with the words, “To Whom It May Concern.” I do this for several reasons. Firstly, it usually gets a laugh, and secondly it relaxes people. They get that there is not going to be any heavy dogma here. Here we are all praying together; Christians praying to Christ, Buddhists to Buddha, Muslims to Allah, and the rest to whom or whatever. Yet we are joining together in harmony and fellowship.

My wife and I sometimes use the words, “The Great Mystery” instead of “God” when we pray together. Why? Because the word “God” has so many attachments and religious connotations to it that it weighs us down. The words “The Great Mystery” feel more intimate. They allow us to pray to something that is beyond our comprehension, without our having to know what it is. This works for us, but each of us is different. What words, beliefs, religious or spiritual structures you use does not matter; what does matter is that you connect within to something infinitely larger than yourself, and let spiritual wisdom nourish you deeply.

We are a multi-dimensional, holographic being made up of mind, body and soul. All three must be nourished. All three are to be explored.

10. Love the process of self-exploration and self-mastery

Each of us is on a unique journey and the opportunities for self-exploration and self-mastery are unlimited. No two people will follow the same path. Each of us has choices to make and actions to pursue. This process will continue until we die. There is no point; there is only the process—a miraculous day-by-day journey through the unfathomable maze of our life. Life is a journey, not a destination.

So too with self-exploration and self-mastery; they are a journey.

One simply becomes more aware, and hopefully more compassionate and loving. All else is just detail. Love the process itself, not what you can get from the process; the results are a bonus. The process itself, the struggle, the choices, the adventures, these are the real gifts. Love the process of growing in wisdom, understanding, compassion, fellowship. Love the process of discovering your inner self, your subconscious, your soul. Love the process of mastering Mind Power.